“Do not speak harshly to an older man, but speak to him as to a father, to younger men as brothers, to older women as mother, to younger women as sisters…” (1 Timothy 5:1-2). I think it would be easy to overlook this bit of advice without taking it seriously. After all, it makes good sense. Who could quibble with it? But the truth is that family members are not always so kind in the way they speak to one another. In moments of frustration or anger words between parents and children or among siblings can become pointed and unkind, even in the most loving of situations.
But one of the most important aspects that families can offer is accountability. Family is a place were we can be honest with one another but do so in love. You can treat a total stranger with indifference and never see them again. You can act ugly with friends and neighbors and then isolate yourself. But with a family there is always a connection, always a reason to take up the conversation again. It can be tricky, of course. Families are complicated. But so is a community of faith, in case you haven’t noticed. Sometimes we need to get a point across that is unpleasant. Thinking in terms of long-standing, on-going relationships should add balance and maturity to how we interact.
The words from 1 Timothy may sound simple, but like so much of scripture there is a profound depth here. Passages like this one should not be passed over lightly.
Prayer: Lord, help us to live and act with openness and love, within our families, communities, and beyond. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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